Poopstained Sidewalks, The Commissary, Unaccompanied Baggage, and EFMP.

My day was full of it.
 In fact, I should've taken it as a sign all the dog craps along the sidewalk that I was dodging this morning, when I went over to walk the kids to their bus.
 I mean SERIOUSLY shelter cove apartments, you can't get a leash or a diaper on that renegade pooping dog?
 SO glad we don't live there anymore.

It was exactly one hour after poop dodge that everything got really shitty.

First stop...the commissary. Of course.
I had my little list.
I had my coups.
I was careful in picking the greenest of the green bananas.

It wasn't going too bad, until I got to the condiment aisle.

 I needed salad dressing, and it was buy two get a dollar off. Which, excuse me, but where is the deal in that?
What if I only need ONE? Why can't I have 50 cents off my solo adventure? I hate those coupons. I absolutely hate them.

I had just safely tossed my Romano Basil Vingerette into the buggy, and I heard it.
One of thoses moms that I want to gut punch.
 The kind of mom I call a talky-talk. The tone she uses with her kid, makes her think that YOU think she's in the running for mom-o'-the-year...in reality YOU know she spends zero time with the kid because she's talking to him like he's a stranger's child.

His name was Jackson. (That's 2. I hate that name. They probably spelled it with an X to be different.)
He runs in front of my buggy and dive bombs himself onto the lowest shelf. And apparently there was a sale this past weekend, because it was empty.

He yells "BET you can't FIND me, Mommy."
And she says "Oh dear me! goodness! I think I've lost Jackson. Oh where oh where could he beeeeeeeeee?"
Any real mom would've said (and I quote) "What is WRONG with you, get OFF of that shelf."
Jackson laughs and says "Can't find me toilet paper head."
And I thought for half a second that kid may have a point she probably could benefit from a charmin treatment to the forehead.
The mom didn't correct him for saying her head was something beneficial to cleaning your nethers post 'usin' it'. Nope. She played along.

I stood there thinking I'll see them on an episode of Supernanny in 2 years when he is punching her and calling her toiletpaper head, and the mom is crying saying she doesn't know where she went wrong.

 I went to fetch the pets some fancy feast.

Lo and behold, they followed me. Jackson said that he wanted a dog toy. His mom said "Oh Jackson, that is not appropriate for a little boy, and that is what you are, my little boy."
He said "Well. I want it."
She says "Why do you want a toy that was manufactured for a dog?" (YES, she said that.)
He said "I want it." squeaking it to the beat of the band.
She said "No. Not a dog toy, you can pick out a human boy toy at another store."
He says "Why can't I HAVE IT??????"
She says "Because, Jackson-boo, I say no, and that has to be good enough, ok? Is that okay?"

An old man looked at me like "I'd make him pick out his own switch."
A woman with a baby rolled her eyes.
I farted.
Well, ok, I didn't, but I wanted to.

The day only got better....

I go to Transportation, only for the millionth time. In fact, I didn't have to say a word to the lady at the welcome desk. Upon seeing my red head waltz in, she said "Lemme guess....transportation?" I nodded.

So, I take my number (F716) To tell Friendly Mustache that I didn't think the unaccompanied baggage shipment was going to work for my husband, since it's supposedly going to take a month and a half to get to him, and he kinda needs it pronto. And I really wanted to use the word PRONTO with authority. Because it IS a good word.

The waiting room is crowded. With two TVs. One on CNN, one tuned into Regis and Kelly. I find a chair and sit.
 A woman, with her kids in tow, decides that since she has 2 children, she has somehow gained expemption from waiting.

I blame those grocery store parking spaces they've designated for people who can procreate.
And people everywhere who give up their space in line for the bathroom to a pregnant woman.

She says to the window, and to anyone who will listen, "Excuse me, why I gotta wait? I got 2 kids."
The lady in the window says "Well, it's first come first serve."
The mom chomps her gum and says "Yeah, well, I got two kids. I shouldn't HAVE to wait. Can't you fix something and let me go on on?"
She's hit with a first come first serve answer, yet again, much to her dismay.
So, to protest that she has been sentenced to wait for her number like the rest of us childless peons, she allowed her 2 buck wild kids to jump on the chairs, and beat themselves in the chests like tarzan.

Finally, it was my turn, before hers, and I admit I cast her a smug smile. Friendly Mustache tells me there is nothing he can do to get the unaccompanied baggage to my husband faster. It is what it is.
Yep. That is what he said.
I didn't even get to say Pronto.

So, I come home after filling up at at cost of 2.69 per gallon (Where are the gas tantrum throwers now? Or doth I protest alone??)

I am greeted by a lovely little email...
My EFMP, the screening I have to have before the army deems me ok to go to Germany to be with my husband is wrong.
The doctor who signed off on it, wasn't the right doctor to sign off on it. AND my sponsor (Mike) needs to redo the paper for me.(Except he's already IN Germany.)
I have to have a do-over.

The Offiical passport that allows me to travel to and live in Germany? Yeah, The Crazy Angel Lady? she told me the wrong form to complete. She insisted I fill out the minor official passport form. NOT the spouse passport.

Which is par for the course so far, considering how many times has my husband told them he has a spouse? And how many times has his paperwork stated he only has one dependent and that's his kid?

So...I have to start that over from scratch, as well. An Official DO over for my Official Passport.

And oh yeah, did I mention I have to vacate the apartment on April 15th?