Sharing is Caring...

Picture it...I was snoozing in our sleep number under our soft green shabby chic quilt, dreaming that Michael is in the living room watching drum videos, it's realistic. I even think "That's Mike Portnoy he's listening to..." and I pop my eyes open with excitement. It's 7:13am. Still dark outside..
I hop out of bed, run to the dark living room and...nothing. Nothing on tv except for the little red light that indicates (in case you unsure) that the TV is in fact, off..
I thought to myself...How RUDE to be startled awake for a false alarm, and besides, why would he come home so early and make his first order of business watching dvds...
Since it was still dark, I decided to do what anyone else would...I crawled back into the warm bed.

I realized that someone was outside, closing their car doors and that had to be the 'drumming' that woke me up.
As I lay there in bed disgruntled...I thought... Man...I share my husband with a fatlot of people. Family, friends, coworkers, some people I'll never even meet....
I woke up again to daylight at 9.
Shuffled to the kitchen and made coffee. Coffee that I drank while standing up, making a grocery list. Since the commissary is closed on Mondays, I had to get my few things for the week, today.

 I literally just missed the bus as it flew past our buildings. The decision was made for me, I was walking to buy my food. 

As I walked I thought about not knowing exactly when Michael would be coming home. His online hints flew way over my head. "I am doing this on that day...so that should be a hint of when I'll be home." and "I stopped doing that on this day...so that is another hint."
I strained my mind to think...did we have a code? Did I forget it? Is this a reference to something I should know?

As I kicked through the huge yellow leaves that carpet the ground I thought...Funny...I am keenly aware of where the phone is at in the apartment all times just incase I get a morale call. Which, who knew that 10 minutes of listened-in on conversation would be the highlight of my week?

I thought about how all the pretty leaves will be gone by the time he gets home...and thought of what dessert I could make for him, and how I seriously hope that I do get an email letting me know when he'll arrive. And yes, even what color of lipstick I'll wear the day he gets here.
I thought the most selfish thing anyone could possibly think...I thought "I hate sharing him with everyone and their brother. I wish he was home. Sharing is NOT caring. Whoever was the first person to cross stitch that on a pillow can KISS it."

Then I saw them...all the welcome home banners tied to the fences for soldiers returning from deployment. Standing out like party decorations against the grey sky.
 Welcome Home Daddy!
Welcome Home My Hero!
 I've Missed You my Husband!
Banners decorated with pictures of smiling wives, chubby babies, happy soldiers....

And I thought this is only a temporary mission that Michael is on. He's only been gone a month and 4 days. Here I am whining and these spouses have dealt with a year apart. They have been sharing their spouses, and way more than my little selfish-self has even thought about doing.

I felt like such a terrible woman, a selfish wife. Making sure everyone knows that I've only had about 3 months with Michael out of our first year of marriage. Seeing a picture on a banner of a baby that her daddy has missed nearly the entire first year of her life, kinda puts things into perspective....

And I walked the rest of the way in the wind to the commissary thinking of how lucky I actually am....